MEDITATION
HERE’S A STORY THAT SAINT FRANCIS ONCE CLIMBED UP INTO THE PULPIT TO PREACH. HE LOOKED DOWN AT THE HUSHED AND EXPECTANT FACES BELOW HIM AND SAID ‘GOD HAS NOT GIVEN ME ANYTHING TO SAY TO YOU TODAY’. HE THEN BLESSED THEM AND SAT DOWN AGAIN.
YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW CLOSE THAT CAME TO BE FOR TODAY. HOWEVER ON REFLECTION YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET OFF THAT LIGHTLY.
SO WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY TO YOU TODAY I COULD HAVE STUCK TO THE SUBJECT LAID OUT IN THE LECTIONARY, BUT I DO NOT FEEL QUALIFIED TO DELIVER THAT MESSAGE. WHAT I PROPOSE TO DO IS TO LOOK AT A LESSON FROM AN OLD HOUSEGROUP SYLLABUS ENTITLED ‘THE COURAGE TO COPE’. THIS SYLLABUS COVERS SEVERAL ASPECTS INCLUDING THE COURAGE TO COPE WITH CHOICES, THE COURAGE TO COPE WITH STRESS, THE COURAGE TO COPE WITH FAMILY PROBLEMS THE COURAGE TO COPE WITH DEATH.
THE ONE I WANT TO LOOK AT TODAY IS THE COURAGE TO COPE WITH LONELINESS. NOW IF YOU HAVE HEARD THIS BEFORE, I MAKE NO APOLOGY AND YOU CAN BLAME THE INTERIM MODERATOR FOR HAVING TO HEAR IT AGAIN.
THE DICTIONARY DEFINES LONELINESS AS BEING ISOLATED, SOLITARY, AND COMPANIONLESS, AND I SUSPECT THAT FOR MANY OF US, THE THOUGHT OF BEING IN THIS STATE IS SOMETHING THAT SCARES US, AND THREATENS TO FRAGMENT US. HUMAN BEINGS, EVEN BEFORE BIRTH ARE PART OF ANOTHER PERSONS BODY. AND WE ALL GROW UP IN THE COMPANY OF OTHERS, SHARING OUR LIVES AND EXPERIENCES WITH THEM.
HOW OFTEN HAVE WE HEARD SOMEONE SAY I COULDN’T POSSIBLY LIVE ALONE? THE IDEA OF BEING ENTIRELY BY OURSELVES CAN MAKE US FEEL FRAGILE, INCOMPLETE AND UNFINISHED. THERE’S A VAST DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE WORDS OF GOD IN GENESIS CHAPTER 2 V 18. IT’S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE, TO THAT OF THE ANCIENT MARINER DECLARING ‘ALONE, ALONE ALL ALL ALONE ON THE BIG WIDE, WIDE SEA’.WE MAY BE TEMPTED TO THINK THAT LONELINESS IS ONLY REALLY EXPERIENCED BY AN OLDER MAN OR WOMAN, WHEN THEIR WIFE OR HUSBAND HAS DIED AND THEY ARE FORCED BY CIRCUMSTANCES TO LIVE BY THEMSELVES. PERHAPS EVEN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THEIR LIVES. BUT THIS CANNOT BE SO.
WE CAN ALL BE LONELY, AT ANY TIME, AND AT ANY STAGE IN OUR LIVES THE LITTLE BABY LEFT UNSTIMULATED.THE CHILD STARTING SCHOOL. THE YOUNG MUM IN A NEW TOWN EVEN STANDING UP HERE IN FRONT OF YOU THIS MORNING. EACH OF US IN OUR OWN SITUATIONS AND THE STRUGGLE TO COPE WITH THE EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIOURS THAT ARE PRODUCED AS A RESULT OF LONELINESS IS SOMETHING WE ARE ALL FAMILIAR WITH. BUT DO WE OFTEN TALK ABOUT IT AND DARE TO MENTION IT TO OTHERS.THE BIBLE CONTAINS MANY ACCOUNTS OF MAN AND HIS LONELINESS.
THE PSALMS ARE FULL OF EXAMPLES OF MAN CRYING OUT TO MAN AND TO GOD TO COME AND BE WITH HIM, AND ALLOW HIM TO BE SAFE AND WHOLE AGAIN.
WE READ IN PSALM 22. ‘MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME, WHY ART THOU SO FAR FROM HELPING ME FROM THE WORDS OF MY GROANING. O MY GOD I CRY BY DAY BUT THOU DOES NOT ANSWER AND BY NIGHT I FIND NO REST’
AND IN PSALM 69 WHICH GILL READ TO US EARLIER ‘SAVE ME O GOD FOR THE WATERS HAVE COME UP TO MY NECK, I SINK IN A DEEP MIRE WHERE THERE IS NO FOOTHOLD’.
AND SO IT GOES ON. AT OUR MOST LONELY, THIS CAN BE DISTORTED AND WE CAN BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE BEEN DESERTED BY PEOPLE AND EVEN BY GOD. AND WHEN WE REALISE THAT THOSE WORDS FROM PSALM 22 ARE THE ONES THAT JESUS HIMSELF CRIED OUT FROM THE CROSS, WE DARE TO BELIEVE THAT EVEN JESUS FELT THAT TOTAL DERELICTION AND DESPAIR AND SAW HIMSELF AS BEING TOTALLY ALONE. BUT THIS ONLY PART OF THE STORY. BECAUSE THERE IS A GREAT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING LONELY AND BEING ALONE. BEING ENTIRELY BY OURSELVES DOES NOT HAVE TO BE FRIGHTENING AND IN FACT CAN BE VERY IMPORTANT. WE NEED TO FIND THOSE TIMES AND THE SPACE WERE WE CAN BE OURSELVES, AND USE IT TO COME TO KNOW MORE ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US.
WE CAN READ FREQUENTLY OF THOSE TIMES WHEN JESUS WENT AWAY TO BE BY HIMSELF.TIMES HE WOULD USE FOR THINKING AND PRAYING AND COMMUNICATING CLOSELY WITH GOD. PERHAPS MORE THAN ANYTHING IT’S A QUESTION OF BALANCE WHEN WE THINK ABOUT JESUS ALONE IN THE WILDERNESS FOR 40 DAYS FACING TEMPTATIONS, SEEING HIM STRUGGLING WITH HIMSELF AND WORKING THROUGH IT. AND COMING TO
UNDERSTAND MORE FULLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH AND TO THE FATHER.
AND WHAT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS HE NEEDED TO DO WHEN HE CAME BACK AGAIN LED BY THE SPIRIT.HE WENT AND FOUND HIS DISCIPLES AND SAID. I HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO BE WITH ME. HE NEEDED TO BE WITH PEOPLE,PEOPLE THAT HE COULD CARE ABOUT AND SHARE WITH. PEOPLE WHO COULD BE WITH HIM, AND WITH WHOM HE AND THEY COULD GROW.
SOMETIMES CIRCUMSTANCES CAN CAUSE US TO BE OUT IN AN ISOLATED POSITION CIRCUMSTANCES NOT NECESSARILY OF OUR OWN MAKING OR CHOOSING. AT OTHER TIMES OUR OWN ATTITUDE MAY BE PART OF THE PROBLEM AND WE MAY EXACERBATE OUR OWN PROBLEMS. PERHAPS WE HAVE BECOME TO INVOLVED IN TAKING AND EXPECTING FROM OTHERS AND SADLY SUCH BEHAVIOURS MAKE DEMANDS WHICH ARE SO GREAT THAT PEOPLE ARE ALMOST FORCED TO LEAVE US ALONE. AND OF COURSE SIMPLY THE PRESENCE OF OTHERS MAY NOT BE ENOUGH TO STOP US FEELING LONELY. THE LONELINESS AND ISOLATION FELT IN A CROWD OF “HAPPY PEOPLE” CAN OFTEN BE WORSE THAN BEING ALONE. ALL WE WANT TO DO IS TO ESCAPE AND BE BY OURSELVES.SOME TIMES OUR NEEDS WILL BE MET AT A HUMAN LEVEL AND SOMETIMES THIS CANNOT BE.THE ACCOUNTS OF JESUS AND HIS DISCIPLES IN THE GARDEN OF GETHSEMENE ON THAT AGONIZING NIGHT GIVE US SOME IDEA ABOUT WHY IT IS THAT HUMAN BEINGS MAY BE UNABLE TO BE FULLY WITH SOMEONE ELSE IN THEIR TOTAL ISOLATION. AND THESE ACCOUNTS ALSO REMIND US THAT GOD’S RESPONSE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE AND AVAILABLE. WE CAN NEVER BE TRULY ALONE REACH TOWARDS GOD, WITH PRAYERS AND OPENNESS, EVEN IN OUR ANGUISH. AND IF WE CAN WE SHOULD REMEMBER THAT HE IS ALREADY REACHING FOR US.
LET ME LEAVE YOU WITH A COUPLE OF QUOTATIONS.
JOSEPH F. NEWTON SAID
‘PEOPLE ARE LONELY BECAUSE THEY BUILD WALLS INSTEAD OF BRIDGES’
C.S.LEWIS WROTE
‘WE NEED OTHER PEOPLE, PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, INTELLECTUALLY, WE NEED THEM IF WE ARE TO KNOW ANYTHING EVEN OURSELVES’.
AMEN